I've spent a lot of time in the garden this spring. Now that summer has officially arrived, it is too hot for me to be out but for the early morning hours. Still I am happy. I had a landscape crew do most of the heavy lifting, but the weeding, watering, and maintenance is all mine, plus ,loving a few things about, here and there.
It all makes me very happy.
I've spent more time sitting outside as well. That is partly because I've been more dedicated to taking care of things, to getting my energy back, perhaps just to the mental shift that requires me to reclaim more of who I was once was. I'm not ready to lose her, but she was embattled and energy lost is hard to reclaim.
Luckily I have a shady oasis in the mornings.
And I've been shifting planters around, brightening my spaces with flowers. That took a little time, and has been a gradual process. I had to add something new, then make sure I put in the time and energy to actually water everything and keep it happy, before adding more. I have failed at this a lot in the past. It has taken a lot of dedication to push myself to build my energy back up, but it was ether push forward or give up. I'm all for pushing.
Plants still need to fill in but now instead of empty spaces and failure, I see hope and promise.
Yes there is still a lot of weeding, but now I feel motivated to keep up. I've a nasty habit of seeing the things I haven't done instead of the things I have accomplished, but this year, I am looking more at the good, and working more to eliminate those nagging doubts, and those creeping stoloniferous weeds.
It is a nice mix of the established beds I put in years ago now, and the new. The promise, and commitment, of trying to keep newly planted things alive. The hope that is ever present, even in the vegetable garden, which I didn't eve really start planting until June, too late really, because I was too occupied elsewhere, but better than not starting it at all.
At least there will be a bumper crop of raspberries.
As well as flowers, and doorways, both new and familiar.
