I spent a good bit of yesterday cleaning out garden beds, in preparation for winter. I'm not done yet. September and October were busy and I am seriously behind on weeding. I am also grateful that growth has slowed enough that the weeding is actually a bit easier, in that magical time between vigorous growth and dormancy (at least magical from the perspective of the one pulling weeds). It has been unseasonably warm and not everything is dormant yet; the roses still have an occasional blossom, and surprisingly, the brugmansia as well.
The last couple of nights have been cool however, with a couple of frosts, and I've had to bring it inside in the evenings and back out during the day. I am hoping to see at least one more blossom before I have to force into dormancy and put it in the garage. I don't believe I have a sunny enough window to maintain it indoors, but it is possible I may change my mind. Once again it bloomed heavily while I was away, and my attempt to hold on to these last blossoms my be simply an exercise in wishful thinking. I admit that the poor plant was occasionally neglected, this past summer, and it took me some time to figure out the best spot, and the best watering schedule, but next year shall be better.
Generally, however, it has been lovely to work in the flower beds, even when that task is mostly just weeding and clearing away dead leaves and stems, cutting a few plants back, preparing for dormancy and rest, for the pulling inward into repose that we all need before bursting forth again next year.
But I'm not quite ready to put everything to bed. I belatedly ordered a few plants, and a slew of bulbs, which are yet to arrive and be planted. I didn't want to order anything while people were still working on the landscape as there have been too many incidents where things were planted and then destroyed or lost due to simple failures, and I needed to pull back for a while, as frustration and disappointment were threatening to overwhelm the joy I felt earlier in the season. I still have work to do in the back next year, some of it somewhat significant, and I still struggle with finding the balance between hope and disappointment, but I am looking forward to the labor, and even the chance to do as much as possible myself. I am far more patient with my own failures than I am when I am paying others. We have reached the point where it is better to follow my own vision, even though the path may be slow.
Garden work forces me to slow down, and to rest. I am determined not to overdo, not to overtax lax muscles or my back, not to injury myself yet again, while at the same time pushing myself to get stronger. When I was young I wanted to do everything despite my back. Perhaps now I am finally learning to work with my limitations, I am determined to push boundaries and limits, but I see there is a world of difference in attitude between "in spite of" and "working within". Perhaps it is about time.