Yesterday evening, after a rushed and busy few minutes when I actually had guests, and help feeding cats, and dinner and got myself a little over extended and in a bit of a dither, I finally decided that I should pull out my knitting bag and take care of that dangling tail at the end of those lovely new striped socks.
I was quite surprised however, when I looked in my knitting bag and found the first pair of toe up socks, apparently forgotten, languishing alone, unloved, and unworn. In a panic I rushed over to purlsandmurmurs to write a post, which is up now. And then I discovered that I had indeed put a photo of the socks up here. But why had I shoved them back in my bag? How could I forget something I spent hours knitting? Granted that first pair was in a predominantly cotton yarn, and I prefer wool socks, but they are still lovely and perfectly wearable.
Then I wondered if perhaps I was loosing my mind, if perhaps I had indeed been so overextended that I had lost control. Perhaps I was so eager to grab hold of the world after a prolonged feelings of isolation that I was like a small child who had been told I could have everything I wanted in a candy shop and I didn't know how to stop. Maybe I was just pushing my mind and my body too far too fast.
But I don't believe that, not completely. It is too easy for us, as humans, to try to justify things, to blame ourselves, to look for patterns, to say "its my fault", to try to find a reason for why things happen. Sometimes things just happen. Yes there are probably reasons. But we probably do more damage worrying about the reasons than if we just learned to do the best we can.
Enough fretting. Today I am going to read. I will probably start another knitting project, Perhaps this weekend I will be able to do a little needlepoint. Perhaps I will try on swimsuits. It seems I will be in Texas, once I can travel again, and Mohonk in July, and its been a few years since I've worn a swimsuit. I'm not sure what I think about that yet, but a couple of packages have arrived. We'll see.
