I never intended to disappear. And yet for a while I did, if not from reality, at least from the virtual version of reality as it shows up on the internet. In some ways this was good as I was quite busy and the time gained helped me focus. And that time was time was well spent.
But it wasn't really the busy intervention of life that kept me away, at least not at first, but a head-slamming encounter with the kind of nastiness that swirls around the currents of the interwebs. By the time I dealt with the issue and my own feelings, life had indeed intervened, and I was swept up in other tasks.
But I'm back, perhaps in some ways more open and more connected to my own voice, my own thoughts, and actually less interested in what other people think. For that I have to say "thank you" to the trolls. It seems that I have spent most of my life worrying about what other people think, worrying if I am doing the right thing, saying the right thing, trying to look right, trying to be right, trying to maintain the peace and avoid conflict at all costs. Especially trying to avoid conflicts. And it struck me that all that effort trying to avoid conflict, trying to do the right thing, trying to be nice, was for naught. I'm not going to go into all the nastiness, because really what is the point? We all get our share of it. Hopefully it never crosses the line from our internet lives to our "real" lives, but it can. I now know that from personal experience. Despite this, I am still here.
Consider this blog active once again.
In the intervening time a few things have happened:
1. My House is on the market.
2.There has been some sewing and some knitting. These projects may or may not appear on this blog, depending on my whims.
And a few decisions have been made, namely that this is my blog and I am not particularly interested in pursuing a narrow focus or in any kind of move toward having a presence or branding. It is what it is and I hope you continue to follow, but in the end I shall write what I feel like writing. This blog is my space apart from the pressures, conventions, and tyrranies of expectation.
There will be knitting.
There will be sewing.
Some of the knitting or sewing will be new garments, but some of it may also address alterations or refashioning of garments as well. I am not and never will be interested in sewing all of my clothes and I honestly don't mind alterations. In fact I've learned more about garment construction from altering high-end ready to wear than from any number of sewing books and classes. I don't expect clothes to fit perfectly off the rack (no one should) and I don't expect patterns to fit perfectly either. This leaves room for exploration.
In my mind, wearing and creating are completely different processes. Posts about things I make will be about the thing and the making. Posts about what I wore will be about the wearing and the reasons behind the wearing. I refuse to submit to the tyrrany espoused by some, but by no means all, in the sewing and knitting communities that garments must be shown as they are worn on a person.
There will, of course, be books and music. I am no critic. I am increasingly uncomfortable with the idea of criticism per se, and of ratings systems. Writing about books and music will be about what said books or music meant to me and will therefore be highly subjective and personal.
And of course, I will write about whatever else lodges in my mind and refuses to budge until I have beaten it into submission under a pile of words. This is after all my blog, my journal, my place. Hopefully that place will be a calm place. Athough I might occasionally vent, I hope to do so in a reasonable way. I expect that my readers will do the same. Different opinions and constructive criticism are welcome if they are offered with civility and at least a nod to keeping an open mind. Comments remain open; however, those who persistently violate the tenets of civil discourse will be banned.
