Yesterday we got a new caregiver in the house, Mary, and she seems very nice. Soon after she arrived I had to go out to run a few errands and she asked if I could pick up some dinner for her at Burger King. She said she wanted a burger and fries, or at least that is what I thought she said. I actually thought she said a "buh burger" and some fries, so I asked if she wanted a particular kind of burger like a whopper and she just said just a "buh burger", so asked if she wanted a plain hamburger and she repeated herself again and then when I asked yet again, she said yes, a hamburger. So I said OK. What else could I say? It was pretty obvious that I was a bit confused, and the truth is that I haven't been to Burger King in at least 4 years, maybe more and have also managed to remain pretty much oblivious to any advertising from the franchise or any of their competitors.
So eventually I get to Burger King. And I am thinking that I have no idea what I am doing, what kind of burger I should get, and I had better not go through the drive up window, so I park and go inside where I am faced with a big wall listing all the various options. And then I thought I would go outside and call Mary and just check to be sure she wanted a burger and fries. I suddenly recalled that she said she only ate goat and chicken, or was it that she only cooked goat and chicken? Perhaps she wanted a chicken sandwich and I had completely misunderstood. So I stood outside by the highway where I could barely hear and she said she wanted a "buh burger" and I thought that I didn't remember her having such a stutter, but that I had better just buy a burger of some sort and so I went back inside.
I asked the girl at the counter what was the most popular burger and she said the "BcBurger" or at least that is what I thought she said. I wondered if I needed to have my hearing checked. Then she said the one on the poster up front, but I didn't see it. I've known I badly needed new glasses for at least a month now, but I did think I should be able to read a big advertising poster. I saw a poster for BK Burger. I thought that perhaps I was out of date and a BK Burger was not pronounced "bee kay burger" but "buk burger" so I asked what came on that and told her to go ahead and get me one with an order of fries.
It wasn't until I was back in my car with the burger and fries safely on the passenger seat that I noticed the sign. It said Buck Burger and it suddenly struck me that Mary was asking me to pick up a buck burger, meaning a burger that sold for a buck. I could have just stepped off the shuttle from Mars for all I knew about what she was saying. I could only shake my head and smile, and think of all the stories the nice girl at the counter would have to tell her friends about the crazy old lady who had never been to Burger King and couldn't understand English.
I really do need to get out more.
