A worried update with accompanying escapes into the world of fiction

G has been home from the hospital following a TURP and is doing well; at least he is doing well in terms of the surgery and his recovery from same.  On other fronts I am not so sure.  His surgeon and other doctors were quite concerned about how confused he was after surgery, and initially I was less concerned, as he seemed much like he had before surgery...very confused and unable to focus.  When he made the decision to have the surgery I had mixed feelings but he seemed competent to make the decision for himself.  Looking at him in the hospital, I got the impression that his surgeon might not have operated had he know how confused G had become, and as I tried to look at him more objectively, I reluctantly came to the same decision, that this week at least, he is not competent to make any decisions.  But this was not the case when he made the decision.  What changed?  Is something going on or is just the normal, leap and crawl, progression of dementia?

Prior to surgery I had pretty much chalked this up to stress and lack of sleep.  He was fretting over surgery.  He wanted to have it and yet he was worried about it, not an unreasonable response, in my opinion.  He was not sleeping well, due partially to continued urinary issues that the TURP should correct, and to general worry, and I know that continued lack of sleep has a strong effect on his mental stability.  

But now I am wonder if this is something more.  He had started to get a bit muddled about 6 weeks back, but we saw his neurologist and his internist and they saw nothing untoward.  He still seemed to be thinking well.  Now he is not. I do not think it is the surgery or the effects of anesthesia because this is different than his behavior after previous surgeries.    He really can't focus, can't read, can't really do anything.  He has great trouble following a conversation but this goes well beyond hearing, he hears the words and can repeat them, but they are meaningless to him, and he constantly garbles his words and his subjects when he is speaking.  I am hoping this will settle down and am willing to give it a week or so, but I had already decided that it was time to seek more help.  The question now is whether this is temporary or exactly how much more help,and what kind is needed.  He is also scheduled to get new hearing aides next week, and I hope they help.  I am beginning to worry that it is now too late; he has needed better hearing aides for years but he refused to have them or use them, even taking them back and returning them when I talked him into getting them.  Now he wants them but it may not help and this make me very sad.  I hope I am wrong.  

I need to observe him a few days, see if things improve, talk to his doctors and see what might be done, if anything, determining if there is a medical solution.  It is a complicated issue, constrained by the many issues about what to say and what not to say, along with the fact that most of his doctors were also once his colleagues and there are often psychological factors involved in how each of them deals with G, his health, and me.

In the meantime, I have retreated to books with one eye, while keeping the other eye on my sweetie. Therefore reading has, as predicted, continued in a light vein.

 Bicycle Diaries by David Byrne.  

I tend to think David Byrne is enormously creative and talented and I have read things he has written before and think he is intelligent and thoughtful as well.  I looked forward to reading the book, and in the sense that I was reading the author's thoughts on a variety of subjects was not disappointed.  The books is not really about riding a bicycle, nor is it particularly about the cities he discusses.  It is more a collection of observations, musings, and thoughts prompted by the places he is visiting and riding his bike.  Sometimes these thoughts seem quite naive and sophomoric, at other times somewhat sophisticated, and at times they capture an enviable sense of wonder at being able to look at the world through fresh eyes.  What I find most interesting is how these thoughts are framed and the insight they give into the workings of the mind of an artist I admire.   It is not a book about bicycles or travel and it is not a coherent narrative, it is a book about the musings of a bright creative person as he travels the world and observes and comments on what he sees and understands in that world.    As such I found it quite enjoyable and thought-provoking.

Byrne, was my surgical-day reading, when I had longer stretches of time.  After that I slid into the kind of book that can be read line by line with no loss of clarity.

 Sue Grafton's B is for Burglar is the second of the Kinsey Milhone detective series.  I read the most recent first, and have gone back to the beginning.  I was seriously disappointed with the first book, A is for Alibi, and if I hadn't read anything else in the series I would not have continued.  As for this one, I can see, while reading it, why I am attracted to Kinsey as a character, and am picking up on the beginnings of her character development.   Although this book was much better than the first book, it is still poorly written, lumbering, cliched fiction.  But it is not unusually bad, certainly no worse than some phenomenally popular authors (JK Rowling anyone?). The writing is to the point.  The story progressed well and was interesting.  I don't mind the dirty details of investigative work and these details kept the story grounded. When I was in college I was told that one should "write the way you talk" and in that sense this book is good; and I can see the appeal.  It is not literature and reading this will never lead to an appreciation of literature.  I do however like Kinsey enough that I will probably read another.  It is not a book to curl up in a comfortable chair and savor.  It is perfectly good for a hospital room, waiting around in airports where your mind is distracted anyway, or for reading at the gym.

Lastly, I read another one of Lee Child's Reacher novels, Tripwire. Since I have been talking about writing here I will come right and say the writing is not fabulous here either.  It is direct and to the point, and although at times it can be quite grating, I would give it higher marks than Grafton. But mystery novels aren't really about the writing (popular fiction in general is not about the writing, now is it?) and the main character is interesting and complex enough, the female lead is strong, and the story is compelling, suspenseful and moves right along.  I will admit to becoming a Reacher fan although he is nothing like anything I would normally look for in a man.  I enjoyed this book, and it was satisfying enough that I happily finished it curled up in a chair with a nice glass of ice tea (and later wine) while G slept. 

Comments

[Mardel]

Well, thank you K-line.  That comment certainly buoyed my spirits today.  I dont feel like a tower of strength, just a mass of questions and worries.

[Mardel]

Thank you for the very kind words.  I truly hope you never have to deal with anything like this.  I wouldnt wish it on anyone.

I understand about the cutesy-flip bit and I can see how it can and probably will get tiring.  I dont think I will ever read the entire series, and I agree with you completely that the one thing I dont want to notice with genre fiction is the writing.  In fact that is part of the appeal for me, as good fiction is always noticeably good and makes me want to delve in deeply.    This particular Grafton was very annoying in that the prose style, or lack thereof kept cropping up and it somehow reminded me of Rowling whose cliches drove me to distraction even though every single member of my family loved those books except me. Even my step-daughter, who looks down on popular fiction, loved those books.  But I digress.

Generally with the Lee Child books I dont notice the prose, which is just perfect.  And the characters are good enough that I enjoy the read.  I dont mind action or blood if the characterizations are good enough.  I suspect that is part of why I enjoyed  the Stieg Larrson series as much as I did.  After an initial pause, I got very wrapped up in the characters and was more than willing to put up with long asides that explained history and psychology and implausible turns of events just to learn more.

I am finding Reacher quite intriguingly multi-dimensional even though he is in many ways a caricature.  New psychological dimensions seem to appear in each book.  This is the first book where the prose really got to me in places; in the others I was happy to not notice, which is nice.  I suppose that is it, for me, I want to be transported with genre fiction, whatever the genre, and am annoyed when niggling details get in the way.

[K-Line]

Honestly, you are a tower of strength, M. I can only imagine how torturous it is to wonder what's happening and to fear the worst. I worry for you managing all of this on your own. Are you ok? Are you lonely? I am very hopeful that G will rally. The matter of former colleagues treating him is double-edged, I see. Perhaps it's time to pull in someone with no previous relationship (not that it's easy to do that)? Do you suppose you'll get an opinion that's free from emotional bias that way?

Keep sharing with your blog friends. It's a way to unburden yourself of concerns without needing to involve the people who are around you all the time. Of course, involve those people too! I mean, sometimes we like a break from out thoughts and to talk about everything everywhere can be overwhelming. Kxo

[materfamilias]

I'm so sorry to hear about the problems with G's apparent mental competence and I hope you see improvement as he heals from the surgery. I find it hard to imagine how I might manage in the same circumstances, and I admire your patience and wisdom.
As for the books, I used to enjoy Sue Grafton but haven't been able to read the Kinsey novels for years -- that whole cutesy-flip heroine (and I use that feminine diminuitive deliberately) just began to irritate me.
Some Lee Child books are better written than others, but at least I'm rarely made conscious of clunkiness -- I don't want to "Notice" writing much when I'm escaping in genre fiction, although I'm happy enough to do so if it's good (and I do believe some of it can be quite good -- we really like James Lee Burke's descriptions of Louisiana, for example). I'm also surprised how much I enjoy the Reacher novels, given that I'm more interested in character, generally, than in plot, and that I'm not usually keen on too much action.