Much as I am tired of living in a hotel, and much as I am very much ready to be in my new house, living in 550 square feet of space for a little over month has not been as much of a trial as I had anticipated, and this is making me rethink all of my previous assumptions about both necessary space and necessary possessions. Compared to our present location, the new house seems enormous, and the thought of all the things coming from New York seems overwhelming. If I was worried about downsizing, I am less worried about it now.
Knoxville itself has been a bit of a surprise as well. Granted it will take me a while to get settled, get involved, and really make myself at home, but I cannot say that I miss New York state or the Hudson Valley. In fact I am more relaxed here. Things are quite different, and I too am probably somewhat different, or at least different parts of my personality are getting to come out to play. There are no expectations here and I have nothing to prove. It is quite liberating.
As you can see from the photo above, the moulting process has already begun. And the truth is that I am completely enamored of this new haircut. In fact, I can even honestly say that I am, at the moment, completely enamored of my face, vain as that may sound. Good photos are good, but even terribly awful photos where I am frowning or scowling show a dimension of myself that I had allowed to slip behind a curtain. I am still not able to reconcile the self I see and the self I feel myself to be, and a part of me still feels that every photo should be burned, but despite all that I spent a terribly embarrassing amount of time yesterday playing with the camera taking photos of myself. I am intrigued by how such a simple change can completely alter perception. I felt like a teenage girl practicing poses in front of the mirror, searching for this new person to be revealed.
I am actually not sure about my ability to replicate the styling, and am a little curious about how this will turn out when I try to do it at home. My new stylist, Jared, used a flat iron before styling with a round brush and the blow dryer. I'm used to the round brush, or multiple round brushes, but no one has ever used a flat iron on my hair before. I am intrigued enough that I bought one today, although I am not at all convinced that the blow dryer in the hotel is up to the styling task, weak as it is and given its penchant for shutting down after about 5 minutes and not restarting for another hour. But I hope even the un-styled version will be nice, and I will learn.
As to other details, the teal top I am wearing is a new purchase, a wedge-shaped, lightweight wool crepe by Eileen Fisher. The spring EF line has some lovely teals and perfect soft summer greens. I highly recommend checking it out if you are attracted to the softer summer colors. I'd share some pictures but haven't found anything online yet, and aside from the bathroom mirror, good photographic settings seem non-existent, unless I wish to go lay things out in the hotel parking lot. Not.
The bracelets are iron and the necklace is Brazilian agate. They were both gifts from G and may be worthy of another post one of these days, as they are rapidly becoming a part of my everyday uniform.
There is one more picture I want to share, but don't worry, I'm not going to inundate you with a gallery of ridiculous expressions. The first picture is the one G likes best, but this one, with its multiple layers and partial views is my favorite. I like the reflection of my eyes over my face mocking me, and the smile in the mirror. The whole is a sum of the parts but each part in and itself is another whole, granting a glimpse into the dimensions hiding behind the whole.